Dylan was accepted to Swansea Metropolitan University! I am so proud of him and eagerly anticipate our transfer to Swansea! I CANNOT WAIT!! More shops, more restaurants, more ”stuff” to do, more diversity, more job opportunities! YAY!
Dylan has found some part time work at a new pizza joint down on the marina but they have their heads so far up their asses that I’m afraid they’ll be going belly up pretty soon. Yesterday, I received yet another ”thanks but no thanks” email in response to a job application I submitted earlier in the week. It’s so ridiculously frustrating. I’m a 28 year old, well spoken, intelligent woman with 10 years of professional work experience. Never in my wildest dreams did I think I’d be passed over for a 16 hour a week retail job. Seriously. What a blow to the ego :(
Relations with the in-laws, namely my MIL, are becoming increasingly strained. I feel bad for Dylan because he’s essentially stuck in the middle but I’m not the one that started it all. Being told to your face that you’re loved and all and then finding out that incredibly hateful things have been said behind your back leads one to put up a wall. I will remain polite and cordial because my parents raised me with manners but I will not go out of my way to maintain any sort of ”friendship”. I wasn’t born yesterday and am completely capable of identifying insincerity. I had a feeling all along that this was happening and was vocal about it but now my suspicions are confirmed. Whatever. Did I already say how much I can’t WAIT to move to Swansea? lol
My mom is considering going back on Tysabri even though she has a genetic predisposition to possible brain infection. I think she should give pot smoking a shot before delving into possibly DYING but she refuses. Poo on that. I will support her in any decision she makes.
What else? Oh yeah, my car died. I have to replace the battery and then some fuel injection switch or something? I don’t know. The guy that came out to jump it yesterday wrote everything down. Yay :-/
I drove Emma home last night. All the way from Milford to Pembroke! It was a 30 minute round trip drive. It was pitch black and foggy with wet roads, lots of roundabouts AND a toll bridge! So proud of myself.
Sophie stood on Dylan’s lap top the other day and completely shattered the screen. We ordered a new screen via ebay and today I replaced it all on my own! Again, so proud of myself! Thank god for video tutorials on youtube! They’re not JUST for makeup application! lol
I guess that’s all for now…
I gave up so much.
So Christmas totally wasn’t as bad as I thought it was going to be. In fact…it wasn’t bad at all! I didn’t shed a single tear. I think because Christmas is celebrated here, I didn’t feel so alienated. Thanksgiving was tough because Dylan and I were the only ones that celebrated it. Anyway, it was great. We got our very first tree as a married couple and I discovered that trees here are WEIRD and almost completely naked up top. I loved our tree though. Unfortunately, we didn’t have a topper for it but that’s okay. I just couldn’t find one I liked this year. Better luck next year!
My mom and dad sent us a massive box of gifts. We had to pay tax on the box before it could be delivered. It was total bullshit. £70!! It was worth the hassle though…it was so so nice having gifts to open from my family. My mom sent Sophie some toys and a sweater. She LOVED her sweater and would sit eagerly every morning waiting for me to put it on her and she was also madly in love with her gingerbread man!
We bought a 15 pound prime rib for only £17. Pretty impressive! My very first purchase from an actual butcher! I think that’s worth mentioning in this ol’ blog, lol. All in all, it was a FABULOUS Christmas :)
Let’s see…what else what else? Sophie is now 6 months old and as of January 11, she is no longer capable of having puppies! Yay! I booked her in for her spaying as fast as I could once she hit 6 months. She was soooooooo loopy and totally out of it when we brought her home. Love this little girl so much!
Dylan’s last day of work is this Thursday, the 19th. I’m not going to lie, I am a bit worried about finances but I fully trust that everything will work out. I am hopeful that he will land another job shortly. As long as I can get a job soon and start bringing in decent money we’ll be fine. Dylan is also hoping to go back to school in September! Exciting stuff!
Oh…and I got a car! Yay! Hopefully a job will be right around the corner :)
Remember when you had to come home when the street light came on? Where are the good old days when the neighborhood was full of kids outside playing tag, hide ‘n seek and wiffle ball? Those were kick the can fun times!
So I made it through my first Thanksgiving without my family. It sucked. I cried a few times and remained in a weird shitty mood for pretty much the entire day. When we went to bed I waited til I heard Dylan’s little snores and then I allowed myself to break down. I cried myself to sleep and my dreams were full of awful. Woke up this morning and my first thought was ”Well, that sucked but at least next year things will be back to normal back home…” and then I realized that things will never be back to what I deem normal, I’ll just have to make a new kind of normal and I will most likely never move back to the USA.
Perhaps it’s the holiday season and the fact that it’s getting cold and shitty here but…I really want to go home. I know it’s not feasible and I made my bed and now I must lie in it but Jesus Christ…it keeps getting harder and harder. I miss my mom. I miss my dad. I miss my baby brother. I miss Bonnie. I still cry when I think about how I gave up Pitty so I could move here. I miss my old life. The only GOOD things about my life now are Dylan and Sophie. They are the only bits that keep a smile on my face. I would follow Dylan to the ends of the earth, but sometimes I really wish he had been from fucking Muskogee or something. Ugh. I miss really little things that I totally took for granted like…driving to the store. Shit, like driving in general.
I can’t land a goddamn job. I guess I’ll have to completely lower myself and try for something in retail. I’m almost 29 years old with nearly 10 years of professional work experience. I LOVE that I have to lower myself to retail and not only retail but minimum wage. Fucking awesome. So aside from disliking where I live, I will also most likely dislike where I work and I don’t have any friends to bitch to about anything. What was I thinking when I thought my friends back home would actually give a flying fuck about me when I moved? My Tulsa friends never visited when I lived in OKC and my OKC friends never visited when I lived in Tulsa so what made me think that ANY of them would pick up a goddamn phone and call me in a different country? I haven’t heard from my friends in nearly 4 months. Makes me feel great. I wish I could tell them all to go pound sand.
So apparently people that put their Christmas decorations up in November and leave them up past January 5th are low-class. This is the type of bullshit snobbery I have to put up with here. I put an autumnal wreath up in October and have kept it up throughout this month of November. My MIL told me that apparently some client of her husband’s passed our house the other day and mistook it for a Christmas wreath and made some snide comment about how ”It’s bloody early for that”. She laughed about it and I don’t know WHY she felt the need to tell me. It felt like a really shitty jab. “Oooo, let me point out to you that people think you’re low-class”.
In the US we take great pride in the outward appearance of our homes. Garden flags, potted plants, trees, wreaths on the door, etc. ALL YEAR. The houses here fit in with the weather - dreary and depressing. GOD FORBID I hang up a fucking wreath to add some goddamn color to my home. GOD FORBID I try to grasp at ANYTHING that makes me feel like I’m not QUITE so far away. So what do I do? Fit into what is considered ”acceptable” here? I don’t know. When I came downstairs this morning I noticed that our wreath had blown off the door because it was so windy last night. I didn’t even bother going out to find it. Fuck it.
Why tell someone something if you know it’s going to make them uncomfortable? Why be so catty? Why laugh along with the person instead of correcting them? ie. “Actually, that’s my son and daughter-in-law’s home and it’s not a Christmas wreath thankyouverymuch”.
I miss nice things. I miss pretty homes. I miss people smiling when they pass on the street. I miss my parents. I miss being surrounded by down to earth individuals and not ones obsessed with putting on airs.
There is so much I could say about people but I don’t because I was raised with manners and because even if I don’t particularly like someone, I go out of my way to NOT make them uncomfortable ESPECIALLY if they’re “family”.
I feel like I’m constantly walking on eggshells.
I wish my mom was here.
Quick recap of the past few months:
I flew back to the US for my brother’s wedding in October. It was so great being around my family again. I’ve missed my mom and little brother so freaking much since moving to Wales. When my dad dropped me off at the airport I sobbed from the check in counter all the way to the tarmac. After an hour or so on the plane, my tears subsided. That was when I realized moving to Wales was the right thing to do. Dylan is my world and I can’t live without him. I was absolutely heartbroken leaving MA but whenever I would have to say goodbye to Dylan in the past, I would be completely devastated for days and weeks at a time. Crying at the drop of a hat. Not feeling at all complete or happy until I was back with him again. The pain I felt leaving my family was horrible but nowhere near as debilitating as the pain I felt when being separated from Dylan.
This is Sophie. I briefly mentioned her in my last blog post. I love her. She is a bitch and a half to housebreak, though. I pretty much just leave the back door open at all times. She knows that outside is the place to potty but she doesn’t understand that if the door is closed, she needs to bark/alert me in some way instead of just popping a squat in the living room. She helps me do laundry by running upstairs and bringing all the dirty socks down one at a time. She is almost 19 weeks old now and she is fucking awesome.
This was our first pumpkin. He lasted about 2 days before he became completely covered in mold. Gross. I threw him away a whopping 48 hours or so after carving him. The most expensive pumpkin I’ve ever bought (and keep in mind he was only about the size of a damn bowling ball) and he didn’t even make it to Halloween. Thanksgiving is this week. I’m cooking for Dylan and myself. My first Thanksgiving away from home! It’s kind of exciting but cooking at my parents’ house is so much better…not only because my family is there but because my parents have every kitchen gadget invented. Dylan and I…don’t. I’m looking forward to Thanksgiving and Christmas, though. It will definitely be hard not spending them with my family but I have a new little family now. Me, Dylan and Soph. I wouldn’t trade them for the world!
I need to seriously buckle down and lose some weight. We are thinking of possibly going to The Canary Islands for a one week holiday around February. I must lose a few pounds before then! Sitting on white sand and looking out at blue water is definitely something to look forward to when the hustle and bustle of the holidays are over. We shall see!
I don’t have the drive or desire to form actual paragraphs. So I’m just going to make a list.
1. It’s nice finally being able to be with Dylan full time.
2. The UK is really expensive.
3. There are massive spiders here but apparently no one gives a shit because ”they can’t hurt you”. I call bullshit.
4. It’s cold.
5. I miss driving. A lot. I feel like I have absolutely no freedom whatsoever.
6. I felt okay about moving here because I had what I thought was a stable base of friends already built in, therefore making my transition less horrible. Well, everyone is fucking leaving. Cicely & Ash are off to Bristol and Lee & Mel are off to Switzerland. Fuck my life. I’m beginning to feel more alone now than I ever have before.
7. I really miss my mom. She’s having even more medical issues as of late and it makes me feel like such shit for being so far away. Maybe I didn’t think this through well enough. I moved to another country without really thinking about the repercussions of leaving a sick mom on her own. I don’t know if I’ll ever forgive myself. I find myself dwelling on really dark shit like what it’s going to be like when she dies and I won’t be there until it’s too late. God willing that won’t be for quite some time.
8. I miss coupons and not spending retarded amounts of money at the grocery store.
9. I love being able to see the ocean whenever I want - so long as my husband drives me. Back to #5 - I really miss driving.
10. We got a puppy last week. She’s a Cocker Spaniel and she’s beautiful and her name is Sophie. She can’t go out in public until her next round of vaccinations (September 24 cannot come soon enough) so I’ve been stuck at home 24/7 for the past week. It’s really wearing thin.
11. I still don’t feel like this house is my home.
12. It’s very overwhelming and literally takes my breath away when I allow myself to think about exactly how far away I am from Oklahoma and how I will never live with my parents again and how I will never lay in the living room for hours with Matt watching TV and how I will never…everything. There are so many ”I will nevers”. It’s really depressing.
13. I count down the minutes to 11am Monday thru Friday which is usually when Tina gets online. By that time it’s 6am in her neck of the woods. I live for our conversations. We’ve been friends for nearly 15 years and haven’t seen eachother for 10…but I still consider her one of my closest friends, if not THE closest…especially at this time. I don’t know what I’d do without her.
14. NONE of my friends back home have attempted to contact me since moving. To that I say ”FUCK ALL OF YOU”. Seriously. Fuck. Yourselves.
15. I cry when no one else is around. A lot.
16. I remain optimistic.
All the worry and anxiety and sleepless nights were for nothing! My visa was approved today and I will be well on my way to Wales within the next two weeks! I am so amped it’s not even funny!
Can’t wait to be back here!
So, on Thursday the 30th I drove down to The Department of Homeland Security in Oklahoma City to get my “biometrics” done. What a fancy name for being fingerprinted. Not entirely sure WHY it was necessary to take a 4 hour round trip drive to get my fingers printed. In any event, it was the last step I had to take before mailing off my supporting documents for my UK Spousal Settlement Visa. I stopped by the Post Office in Jenks on my way home to mail everything. I jumped the gun - I should’ve gone home and double checked how to go about the Priority Processing…but, I didn’t. So now instead of my applicatio being processed in 48-72 hours, it’s going to take at least 12 business days. Way to go. Yeah, we saved $300 by NOT going the Priority route but holy shit, I miss my husband.
Oh, and I neglected to sign a form…which I had no clue I had to sign. So that will surely hold up the process of being approved. Christ, I pray my Visa is approved. I miss my husband. I miss Cicely. I miss the ocean. I miss Wales.
In total, I mailed off nearly 2 pounds worth of documentation. 3 separate sections of “stuff”.
1. General - Settlement application, additional passport photo, marriage certificate, Passport and yet ANOTHER additional passport photo, my biometrics, Dylan’s passport (copy) and Dylan’s Confirmation letter (basically saying that YES we are married and YES he wants me to come live with him).
2. Finances and Accommodation - My bank statements covering April ‘11 - June ‘11, Letter stating when my account was opened and how much $ is available, my 2010 Tax forms, my CV/Resume, Dylan’s salary stubs, Dylan’s bank statements, Dylan’s employment contract, Dylan’s mortgage statements, a monthly budget/maintenance requirement showing that Dylan makes enough money each month to support us without needing government assistance, a letter from Dylan’s parents saying we will be living in their 2nd house and proof of their land registry.
3. Supporting Proof of Relationship - Travel itineraries to/from the UK & US, photographs (holidays, wedding, etc.), Facebook screen shots, email screenshots, Skype call records and our wedding invitation.
All of that PLUS $1,149 to apply and $33 to overnight my documents to NYC…Hopefully it will all be quite straight forward and I will have my Visa in hand soon!
This is seriously such a ridiculously stressful time. Knowing what I know now, if I could go back in time…I’d do it all over again. Seriously. I can’t imagine my life without Dylan.
I am going super stir crazy though and suffering a bit from cabin fever. I haven’t worked in just over 2 months, I’m back to living with my parents, it’s 110 degrees every goddamn day and I hardly ever get to see my friends because, well, they have lives. I tried to get ahold of Lauren today to see if she wanted to hang out but I haven’t heard anything from her. I thought that surely my best friend would want to get together for my last 4th of July weekend, but apparently, I was wrong. Oh well.
I spent a good portion of my day reading and subsequently finishing Flowers for Algernon. It was a fast read and made me a bit teary eyed but I’m chomping at the bit for something that will make me cry like a baby. I live for devastatingly sad novels. I love my kindle, but after 7 months of using it consistently, I still miss having an actual book to put on a shelf when all is said and done. That’s one of the hardest parts of this whole moving to the UK thing - not being able to take my books with me. I’ve kept pretty much every book I’ve ever read since I was about 12. I had the BEST library EVER. I may be a bit biased.
The other thing that really sucks about moving - I had to get rid of Pitty. Have I not mentioned that on here, yet? I don’t think I have. Yeah. When I was in Wales in March, my mom took it upon herself to find another home for my baby girl. I’m still really upset over it all to be honest. Pitty was hands down, the best dog I’ve ever had. So loving, so sweet, so protective, so smart, so cute, so PITTY. I NEVER imagined that I would EVER have to get rid of her. I remember thinking about how Pitty would be my future children’s first dog. Nope. Once it became apparent in February that I wouldn’t be able to transfer her to Wales (I couldn’t put her through 6 months of quarantine in England. She would’ve gone mental being away from me/Dylan/lots of human interaction for that long and the PETS process was just not an option AND it would’ve cost THOUSANDS of dollars either way), I KNEW that I would have to find her another home.
I had a sneaking suspicion that I wouldn’t find a home for her and would end up having to either A. put her to sleep or B. take her to the pound. She was never exposed to children, didn’t play well with “strange” dogs, was scared of men and had a habit of pissing all over herself and whatever she happened to be on if you so much as looked at her the wrong way. Miraculously, my mom found her the PERFECT home. A 40-something woman, her husband and 2 kids were willing to take Pitty. They already had 2 dogs, a border collie, a blue heeler and 2 cats. Their border collie was a submissive wetter so they were totally cool with Pitty’s piddles. It took her a little while to warm up to them but she fits in beautifully now. I keep up with her new mom via facebook. I couldn’t have created a better home for her had I tried.
It still really REALLY sucks that she’s gone, though.
My husband and my puppy. My favorite picture.
Anyway, this is one massively rambling entry. It’s nearly 10pm, maybe it’s not so hot outside now…I’m going to venture out to the pool and do a little reading, so long as there aren’t any MASSIVE wolf spiders about!